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Photo via Flickr user kattebelletje. This Valentine's Day, while you couples and triads have romantic meals and cover your furniture in rose petals or whatever, the singles of the world will be firing up Netflix and a bottle of wine, and then, inevitably, glancing down at their hands, or the drawer they keep their vibrators in. Just you and me, buddy. Like always.

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We get the urge because our ancestors did too, even back to the earliest mammals and reptiles. The diversity of animals that have been caught taking a bit of alone time goes far, far beyond dogs humping legs. It should be no surprise to anyone that our primate cousins are champion masturbators.

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Obsession loves toys. Fishing For Juelz Hot Pornstar 1. Fisherman's wife enjoys anal sex at the beach.

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Did I stutter? This one does exactly what is says on the tin, folks. Hit the jump for the clip, if you dare, then we'll discuss what we can learn from the footage.

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Despite what you might have been told, masturbation won't make you go blind or grow hair on your palms. Not every animal masturbates to climax, meaning it might not solely be done for pleasure. With primates ejaculation can flush out sperm that may have lost its motility, allowing for fresh sperm to lead the way and have a better chance of conception.

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A man who posted step-by-step updates as he pleasured himself with the stomach of an anglerfish ended up in hospital. He described how he had taken precautions, carefully disinfecting the raw fish organ using salt and ethanol before rubbing it against his penis. The detailed statuses ended with a photo of him wearing the stomach on his hand, as though it were a glove. However, all did not go according to plan as he later revealed in a follow-up that he had had to check himself into hospital.

Comments

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